hiding behind privacy settings.

alright.

i've blogged about this before, but i feel the need to do it again. as i am now on face book and myspace, i notice that EVERYONE just about has their profile on private! its funny as hell. i cant decide if people are protecting something or hiding something.

i spoke last time about the different reasons why people do this. A: they have a kick ass job, yet are a true freak underneath and wouldn't like the attention brought at work for this. understandable, specially in these trying economic times. then there is B: people whose everday sux to the extent that they hide it. its like the feline mentality ie: if i can't see you, you can't see me. However.

i can admit. i was actually tempted to make my own profile completely private. all because of one prick. one asshole that i can't seem to shake, no matter how many times i block him, mark him as spam or tell him he's the scum of the earth. in the first few moments of rage, that he would comment on my blog as a means to contact me, i really wanted to kick every person out of my damn profile. However.

he's an attention whore. and we all know what that means. give them what they want and they thrive. instead i will publicly denounce setting profiles to private, that i have nothing to hide. that no matter how good or how bad my life is, i have no reason to fear other's knowing about it. that i am proud no matter what.

i'm not sure why people are so scared to let someone see them hurt. maybe because people are pricks by nature and they like to kick others when they are down. but really? if you know who you are and you are proud of who you are, why hide behind privacy settings?

wait. that's right. they AREN'T proud of who they are. in fact they fear judgment by everyone else so much they hide. they fear that everyone else will see the lil drama of their lives and think something of it. they are afraid to let people see their true colors. maybe because they think the true colors wont be accepted, or maybe to keep the people out there from knowing just how much shit they start in the first place.

i've noticed those with extensive drama in their lives tend to hide. from what i can tell, usually so no one has to know the whole truth. this way they can show just what lil they want, a smiling pic and an annecdote. cute. but gay. and completely sugar coated.

stop being afraid of reality people. if you can't be accepted as you are, you are no more than a lie anyways. if you aren't brave enough to put yourself out there, then why should u succeed at anything.

i am the queen of knowing the face of judgement. i've seen it on the countless faces of those that see the real me and are afraid. but that doesn't change the fact of who i am. Letting the judgement of others change you is in itself a sin. losing yourself because someone else thinks you are sick, or odd, or dark, or a 'heathen'..... that's just weak. i tried for years to conform to some kind of 'normalcy' and it got me nowhere except sad to have lost myself. i found it again. and no longer will i hide just how messed up i am.

i love pain, i love pleasure, i love late nites, sex, anime, movies, piercings, bondage, and many more things i wont mention for the sake of my vanilla readers i adore. ;) but they know. they know who i am. who i have always been..

I REFUSE TO HIDE BEHIND A PRIVACY SETTING BECAUSE OF FEAR.
SEE ME AND KNOW I AM WHO I AM.