again a short blog

i'm posting tonight because i'm thinking bout what i'm doing. i'm making art.

ok so i'm also being a slacker. I'm looking for part time work while i'm cooking up my lil art scheme. i think it will sell. we shall see.

but today has been a bad day for lots of people around me it seems. Friends going to Dr's, my own dr appt (i got a dr's note that says i have to lay out in the sun for at least 10 min starting tomorrow. hahahahahah!) relationships and the like. i thought i would finally put down my thoughts on the M word! SCARY!

The M word. well marriage is something i've contemplated a few times (engaged 3 times my friends) and frankly its just not worth it in my mind. cept maybe for the tax breaks. Lately everyone is married around me, although i haven't peeked into the marriages of people i've recently come to talk to again, the ones close to me aren't pretty. My own sister married the wrong man under pressure and it screwed her life for 6 years. other friends find that they are most angry and that they are rethinking marriage right before it happens. Now- there's the thing.

Do you have the jitters and regular doubts of a person making a life commitment? OR

Do you have reasonable doubts and unresolvable conflicts with the person you're about to commit to?

figure that out and everything will be ok. that's it. seriously. but here's the thing. why even do it? ya its fun to shop and get the dress blah blah blah, but its also a butt load of stress and makes for some serious financial cramps. there are ways around all of this. of course. i know this. but in my mind, i don't need a ring to tell me if i'm commit ed to someone. i guess this symbol has been rooted into the minds of lil girls for so long that they MUST have it to know they are loved. WHY???? from what i have seen of the divorce rate amongst our generation, the ring only means they are yours for as long as they are having fun. then poof. things get hard, people split. its just one more legal thing to fuck with. instead, live with someone, get to know them when they are just waking up, have been on a all night binge playing video games and when they are just sitting around completely quiet. its like buying a car before test driving it. compatibility.

if you can live with someone as your best friend as well as love, then why put a label on it. why fix what isn't broke. i only have one personal example of friends that are married and happy as hell. others are just totally vague or blah. the ring makes someone crazy, gives them ideas of owning, they treat one another different under different labels. Hell some chicks treat a guy different soon as he's a boyfriend. instead of adding to the intimacy, they break off a part of their personality that used to talk to that guy like he was an intelligent human being and just wants them to see the nice side of her. GREAT. now you are no longer with a boy friend. just a boy. what was the point in getting to know that person?!?

k i'm done. that's my thoughts. what works for everyone is different, but when you have families on both sides that think living together and thinking as tho we are a permenant thing means the M word.. there's a rant to be had :)