as of 1/9/10, at 8:35 am, Marcus Alexander has been born! at a whopping 7lbs and 11 oz, 20.5 inches long, he is the best thing to ever happen to me in my entire life.
so the story starts.... i had pre labor cramps thursday all day. called my mom. she and my aunt and grandma made it into town by 9pm that night. later that night, around midnight, my cramps eased off and i thought 'damn. not gonna happen tonight. i was soooo wrong! (did i mention it was snowing, just like in my dream?!?!?)
at 4 am i woke up in pain. i timed the first 3 contractions. they were already 6 minutes apart and hurt enough to take my breath away. i woke up the fiance, he jumped out of bed, got everyone else up and we all headed to the hospital. when we got there, the contractions were 3 minutes apart. they took me up to maternity. i was checked and found out i was only dilated to a 2. ick! so they had me get set up with a blood pressure cuff and gown and wait to see if i would dilate. this was about 530 am. at 930 am, they decided that since i wasn't dilating they would give me morphine and try to get me to rest and dilate. that wore off about 4 hours later, so the contractions started again. at 4pm, the dr came back and found i still was only at a 3 in dilation... they decided to give me give me a pain killer drip and some to sleep in an IV. by this time i was panicking from the pain, lack of sleep, lack of food and the thoughts that this would never end. i was in and out, but could still feel the contractions. it wasn't until 9pm that night when the dr came back and found i STILL hadn't dilated, that he decided to give me an epidural anyways. the intensity of my contractions were so bad, he did it even with out me dilating and even though we didn't know when i would. he decided that after the epidural, he would start me on pitocin to try and force my body into getting ready. i was numbed at 9pm.
i laid in the bed, going in and out from sheer lack of sleep and loss of will. the baby's heart rate started to drop after each of my contractions, and this worried the dr's. so they decided to go ahead and break my water, and insert internal monitors for his heartbeat and my contractions. this was at about 730 am. saturday morning.
while inserting the monitors, she noticed that during contraction, i had dilated to a 5! this was great news! everyone was soooooo happy. including me. i was so ready for this to be over. so was my fiance that had been by my side the entire time. they laid me back, and started to watch and found that in the next 30 min, my contractions went nuts! i was starting to feel them even thru the epidural.
the nurse said she would check me at 820, but ended up going ahead and checking me at 8. I was dilated to a 9! 10 minutes later, i was at a 10. the nurse called my dr to get there quick. she had me push with a contraction to see how well i could push. in one push, i was a +2, the baby's head visible. she had me breath thru the contractions, not pushing for the next 10 minutes till the dr got there.
he ran thru the door just as she put my legs in the stirrups and said i needed to go ahead and start bearing down. i pushed with the first contraction. the baby crowned.
i pushed with the second contraction, the baby's head was out! he told me not to wait for another contraction, just bear down.
i pushed, he said to look look! i looked down and saw my son's head and shoulders!! the dr should have said Taa Daa!
one more push! and Marcus was born! i watched as the dr clamped the cord and cut it. they laid him on my stomach, he kicked and screamed just once, then looked at me, i rubbed his chest, crying. my fiance said the baby's name. marcus looked at him right away. my fiance cried then as well.
our son was born and was perfectly healthy.
all my fears, worries, nightmares... all of them finally laid to rest. i hadn't messed this up, he was perfect and healthy and beautiful. at that moment, i realized Marcus is the best and most wonderful thing i had ever done in my entire life. he is the one thing i am Most proud of. i never thought i could be a mom. now i cant imagine my life with out my son.
its slightly lonely at night, with out the little pat pat in my tummy of his feet. it was hard to not have nightmares about him being lost or something happening to him while in the hospital. he's no longer perfectly safe in my tummy. he's in the world. but holding him makes my heart fly and my emotions stumble. looking into his eyes and watching him recognize my voice makes my world seem like i have purpose. he is the reason i can live on being a proud mother, proud woman and proud partner.
i was in contractions from 7am thursday morning till 7am saturday morning and active labor till 835 when he was born. 48 hours of pain, but it was worth every moment to have him sweetly by my side now. i love my son and hope i can show him just how much over the years to come.
