SO! today we have pics. its all baby firsts :D
Here's baby's first cat in the hat toy for the nursery and also the first outfit. both courtesy of my mother. She has been very active in talking to me about the kiddo and making sure i'm eating enough and etc etc. :) Its been wonderful to bond with her this way. i'm looking forward to the holidays when she and dad are here.But- with that being said, i'm also getting kinda worried about time just flying and the nursery not getting done. I can't really lift any of the furniture in that room currently because its chinese antique black lacquer. Its heavy and has sharp metal corners. Spells DANGER for a klutz like me lol. SO- i'm hoping that maybe with the Man's bro in town this week, we can bribe him into a lil manual labor lol. ^_^
well i'm in my 24th week. and strangely enough, i all of a sudden look very pregnant. heh. my mother is worried that since i wasn't hungry a lot, i wasn't gaining enough weight. so i stepped up my fruits and vegi intake to try and make up calories in a healthy way. lots of smoothies and cucumber sticks later- i'm just fine. but i feel stuffed all the time. guess i should just stop complaining and enjoy the one time ur allowed to be chubby :) that's the moral here. hah. outside of the weight issue, i'm just very irritable lately. like all the time. kinda demanding. and its really pressing on mr man. i feel bad, but at the same time, i'm taking the whole prego thing so very seriously, i want him to as well. on the other hand, i'm being petty and its the hormones. where do the hormones end and the shitty attitude begin? i have NO idea. but i need to get one before i drive him batty.
so i'm wearing my engagement ring around my neck. why? because my fat lil fingers are retaining so much water, i can't wear it on my finger, lol. ya i'm for real. I never thot i'd have one in the first place, but now that i do, i can't even wear the damn thing. its kinda confusing and annoying all at the same time. What is the freaking deal with the ring? i've noticed its like infused into girls that we have to try to get the biggest rock to be happy. because we know other's will look and judge us mysteriously by the ring? it seems so! however. unless the thing is an heirloom, i can't see getting all that freaky about the ring. i love rings. lots of them. not just a few lol. then again. i'm not exactly traditional in any meaning of the word. in fact, i'm missing my blue hair totally. they say you can't dye ur hair when ur prego, so this is totally pissing me off. omg. it would be so fun to just have blue front streaks! or just have a few in the sides, and get my hair cut again. but blue toe nails and black french tips on my hands will have to do. heh
have i mentioned i'm all sorts of hormonal? ya. its true. i gave no credit to this kind of thing till now. holy hell. you can be happy in the clouds one sec and BOOM. head spinning around vomiting fire the next! about some issues that shouldn't matter. but somehow, those last wheat thins that would have been perfect for the last of the port wine cheese ball really mean something to me. enough to pout for. ?!?!?!?!?!??!? wtf is that? really??? i guess so. this instinct to protect my fav foods and really dig black yoga pants and sports bras; to curl up holding the covers for dear life and snap anytime i'm pushed..... its HORMONES. i blame them because i've never been so unpredictable to even myself since i was a teen on lots and lots and lots of drugs. ya. still. at least i'm sane and not seeing/hearing things. that's all that matters :) so long as its emotionally based and not manifesting into reality, i'm a happy girl.
but i digress
women can really be pushed to the edge by just the chemicals their own bodies produce. i was freaking curious to why this was till i realized my urges brought on by the hormones were all primal ones to protect what i have growing inside. food, nesting, overprotectiveness. in defense of the thing inside. now is it fair? No! totally not! lol you can't even really control it, so its natural. i dont really know how to handle it. i've never thot about it. i dont know what to say. and what's odder is when i think about it, if this hadn't just 'happened', i'd still be dead set on not having kids. i'm scared to death. now i just have to figure out why. because i won't be a good parent? because of the all the shit you have to do/give up for a kid? because of the responsibility in taking another lil life and shaping it as a parent? holy hell! do i need that??? should i even be the one to do this? there are plenty of people that would say nuh nuh... not at all. some have toldme they know i'll be a great mom. i'll be a 'cool mom'. i have to aim for that. otherwise i feel destined to fail. then i feel marcus kick. and i'm like wow. just freaking wow.
so time is passing fast. i have taken on the responsibility of making the invitations to my baby shower. i'll be designing them on a dr seuss theme. weeeee. 4 years of school didn't go to total waste. I'll be posting that of course. :D Catch me here again
Same bat time
Same bat channel.
